In the News
Arnold Schwarzenegger has a big one.
Michael J. Fox has a small one.
Madonna doesn't have one.
The Pope has one but doesn't use it.
Clinton uses his all the time.
Mickey Mouse has an unusual one.
Lucy never used Desi's.
What is it?
A man appeared at the Pearly Gates and stood before St. Peter.
"Have you ever done anything of particular merit?" St. Peter asked.
"Well, I can think of one thing," the man offered, and continued,
"On a trip to the Black Hills out in South Dakota, I came upon a
gang of mean looking bikers who were threatening a young woman.
I told them to leave her alone, but they wouldn't listen. So, I approached the
largest and scariest looking biker and smacked him on the head,
kicked his bike over, ripped off his earring, and threw it on the ground.
Then I yelled, 'Back off! Or you'll answer to me!'" St. Peter was impressed:
"When did this happen?" "Just a couple minutes ago"
Life Before Computers
You would fill out an application.
A program was a TV show.
A cursor used profanity.
A keyboard was a piano.
Memory was something that you lost.
a CD was a bank account.
If your floppy was 3 1/2 inches, you would kept that to yourself!
If you unzipped anything in in your cubicle, you'd be in trouble.
Log on meant adding wood to the fire.
A hard drive was a long road trip.
A mouse pad was where the cool mice lived.
A backup happened to your toilet.
You cut with a knife or scissors.
You pasted with glue.
A web was a sticky spider's home.
A virus was the flu.
At least nobody's been hurt in a computer crash.
Computers have changes our lives as well as our vocabulary.
Possible Funny Company Mergers
Hale Business Systems, Mary Kay Cosmetics, Fuller Brush and W.R. Grace Company
can merge to become Hale Mary Fuller Grace.
Polygram Records, Warner Brothers and Keebler Crackers
can merge to become Polly-Warner-Cracker.
3M and Goodyear can merge to become MMMGood.
Federal Express and UPS can merge to become FED UPS.
Xerox and Wurlitzer can merge and begin manufacturing reproductive organs.
Grey Poupon and Dockers Pants can merge to become Poupon Pants.